#1: On Laurel on a Sunny Afternoon (Location)

It is a sunny afternoon in Laurel, MD. Many people would mistake the word "sunny" for happy, and perhaps some people are happy right now in this town. Sunny in MD usually also means humid to the point where the air becomes drinking water (though given the hygiene of the locals, possibly only after thorough filtering.) The heat also brings out the local crazy man whose name is supposedly "Robert" although my friend Kevin calls him "Crazy Olympics". Let me explain. "Robert" is a large muscular black man who, when first spotted, was seen doing pushups and dancing in front of a boombox in front of the local Chipotle. He was wearing nothing but a bandana around his head, and shorts. Maybe shoes. But perhaps that is asking too much of him. It was pretty silly. A week later when he was still doing it, it was sillier still and even a bit scary. And then half a year later, when he came into the CD Store and threatened to kill everyone inside, it was even less silly and more scary. One day, in the early days of his appearances, my friend Dave was driving with Kevin and they spotted him by the side of the road, obviously doing push ups or some sort of exercise.
Dave: "What's that guy doing?"
Kevin: "Training for the crazy olympics."
And so on this hot day, we have this man here. Laurel drivers are out in droves because apparently nobody in this town has a job to be at, and they are most wonderful at being some of the most selfish and careless drivers ever, driving with only themselves in mind and possibly a feeling that maybe their car is a ghost car, capable of passing through other vehicles should they be driving carelessly on the correct side of the road.
Still, Laurel also has less SUV's than most places. I guess that's good. Until you realize that the people who can afford SUV's here just end up getting HUMVEES. Usually camouflage ones. And why camouflage? What is the practical use of camouflage, a color scheme used to hide one from one's enemies, on a car that is bought mainly to attract attention with its audacity?
A notch above Glen Burnie, which consists of less jerks, but of more sad people jonesin for crack money, I give Laurel on this Sunny Day an average score. It may seem bad, but hey, this is America.
Grade: C
-Ben

Next Time Maybe: Are you excited about the exciting Stephanie Meyers book? The blood pumping "Twilight" series is drawn to a close! WOW! Tomorrow, I will post a glorious review of, not the book, but the Barnes&Noble where I will be waiting in line with my friend as she waits to buy the book. It's going to be spectacular. And maybe someday I'll read one of these books.