#19 - On Possibly the World's Only Remaining Steven Seagal Fan

This man has a problem. It is ignorance perhaps. Perhaps it is merely awful taste. He is a nice man. The conversation starts very simply. He approaches with the question: "What's with these new Steven Seagal movies?" The conversation runs like this:
"What's with these new Steven Seagal movies?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I see all these new movies... around 4 of them in the last few years... I see them on DVD but they never came out in the theater."
"Oh, they are just direct-to-DVD movies."
"Why aren't they in the theaters?"
"Well.. he's just not popular enough to carry 'real' movies so they put out these direct-to-DVD movies because they are cheaper to make."
The man seems flabbergasted by this. His face betrays the sadness in his heart. His disbelief that perhaps Senor Seagal's popularity has waned since the early 90's. I comment that it's just like what happened to Jean Claude Van Damme.
His hands wave around as if his voice alone could not convey how wrong this is: "Naw! Steven Seagal was WAY more popular than Van Damme though."
I explain that those two actors took the same basic career trajectory. He disagreed, stating that Steven Seagal was one of the biggest stars in the universe compared to Van Damme. This is fine with me. I resist the urge to compare an argument over Van Damme and Seagal to arguing over which $1 bowl of gruel tastes better. But then the man let's this little doozy slip out of his mouth:
"I mean, Seagal is at least way better than Jet Li or Jackie Chan."
My co-worker notes that Jackie Chan is one of the biggest stars in the world. The man's reply is "Yeah, but not in the US."
My coworker points out that Rush Hour and Shanghai Noon were huge franchises, way larger than any Seagal movie. The man says "Nawww... not bigger than 'Out For Justice' or 'Fire Down Below'. And besides, look at who was in those movies with Jackie Chan... no wonder they were big."
Again, my astute coworker says: "Chris Tucker? Oh yeah... 'Money Talks'... that was REAL big. Half of the draw was Jackie Chan."
The man disagrees. We point out that Jackie Chan and Jet Li were both big from almost BEFORE either Van Damme and Seagal. The man argues that you're not even actually big unless you're making it in the US. We mention "Drunken Master" as an old movie that was big. He says "Well I ain't ever heard of that. And all those movies are real old and made in Japan or whatever."
Then he says "I mean... even that dude from The Transporter is a better martial artist than Jet Li. Jet Li is all fake and shit."
We point out that Statham's better movies were ones where he DOESNT fight. This conversation goes on for a while, but the man is pretty amicable, despite his sometimes offensive comments. Everyone came out slightly confused, but no worse for wear.
So this is where I consider the grade this man would receive. He was indeed a great fan of Steven Seagal's, to which he would probably get an A. The problem was that he was not really aware of the story behind Seagal's later work, meaning his "fandom" had obviously slipped since the man's fall from grace. Also he was oblivious to enough facts to make strong cases, or at least to wave away the facts. This brings up the question: once he is made to believe the facts that Jet Li is a great martial artist, and Jackie Chan was popular worldwide and this counts for something... would he still be so adamant about the greatness of Steven Seagal? Was it true love that he had for the works of the squinty eyed, elbow throwing, pony-tailed action dinosaur that made him remain a fan of his work? Or just ignorance? Will the man fail this test of fandom? I do not want to be there when the walls of his Seagal worship crumble before his eyes. It will either be a sad affair, or the rising of an even stupider phoenix borne out of the ashes of ignorance and fueled by the fires of simple bad taste. S since we do not know the outcome and can only judge this Seagal fan on his actual ignorance of Seagal's post popularity career (and the fact that he did not even seem aware the the actor was no longer popular) I'll have to give him a...
Grade: C
Low marks for ignorance of actor, high marks for still being his fan.